Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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