she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
