i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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