1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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