My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
