i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
