dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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