My brain says no but my pants say off.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
