I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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