We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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