This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize