When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
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