Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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