Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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