I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
