My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
