Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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