I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
