So drunk its hurt
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Barsexuality is the new black.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
