Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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