if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
