Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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