And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
