I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
