Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
