Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
