Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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