In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They took my balls.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
