I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Let's get the cat blown out
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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