i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
