when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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