Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
