So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize