There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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