I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
