I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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