dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i would punch a child for taco bell
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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