i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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