Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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