just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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