jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
