the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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