He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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