youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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