i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
