get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
