8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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