alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
