Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
