peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Alive.
So much puke
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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