? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
