Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
