I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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