it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
