Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He felt like a one man threesome
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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