This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
