So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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