I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Two words: nipple clamps
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