the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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