Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
