You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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