my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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