Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
well, you know. whores of a feather.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
