What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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