Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
