It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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