im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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