So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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